Pre-Ramadan Surviving Marriage Checklist
Great anticipation for Ramadan is in the atmosphere. Everyone that is observing the fast is seeking something during this blessed month. For married couples, whether newly married or old school married, Ramadan can bring stresses into a marriage that are unplanned and yes, very unnecessary.
Here are a few tips that help make this month more easy going and rewarding for both parties. After all…we are too blessed to be stressed.
1) Clean House Together – One of the most stressful things, but definitely required tasks during Ramadan is a clean house. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Couples with children bear extra responsibilities with daily activities. This is where the “I” becomes “we” and teamwork comes into play in marriage… No pun intended. Both spouses should pitch in to do what it takes to cover all areas of the home. Sharing the responsibility eases the burden and allows more time for study.
2) Decide on Meals Days in Advance – To cook or not to cook…that is the question. One of the most joyous times but somewhat stressful is deciding what to eat. After a long day of fasting, no one wants to spend minutes or hours trying to decide those three little words… “What’s for dinner?” Trying to make sure that all nutrients have been replaced from a long day of fasting should be decided by both spouses. One’s idea of a treat may not be a good idea for health and hydration. Going to the Masjid instead of cooking is an option but shouldn’t be decided last minute if at all possible.
3) Set a Daily Study Schedule – A house devoid of study is a house divided. It’s cool for married couples to study individually but it is ultimately rewarding for couples to read and discuss their thoughts and feelings on daily readings and hadiths. Depending on works and school schedules, individual study is what the majority will be doing. Take the time to find 5-10 minutes of shared study early in the morning or even late in the evening. It helps keep the bonds of marriage and grows the Iman together.
4) Find Duas to Put on the Refrigerator – The busiest appliance during Ramadan will be the refrigerator. It will be working overtime constantly being stacked with goodies for Sahoor (breakfast) and Iftar (break fast meals) and late night snacks. The best place to put learning materials so that everyone can see it would be on the refrigerator. A Dua a Day will help keep Divorce away.
5) Discuss Visitation and Iftar – Consideration of time and all things that encompass Ramadan is not to be taken lightly. Neither spouse should schedule something without the OK of the other spouse. Getting behind in the daily reading of the Quran or other duties and deadlines means that special time needs to be set aside to catch up. If one spouse plans without the others knowledge (such as inviting people over without discussing it), could be unnecessarily stressful to try to rearrange make up time.
Ramadan is a festive time. Getting closer to Allah, your Muslim brothers and sisters and seeking all of the blessings during this month is cause for celebration. Take time to prepare for a blessed and peaceful fast. Take time to ask what your spouse needs and how you can make this month go smoothly. Take time to communicate. It will help your marriage and your your deen.
Wishing everyone a Blessed and Peaceful Ramadan.